I love you too Toothy
by Sadistic Bi-polar Lamas
Summary: When max goes a bit crazy and Fang get's a hold of Urban Dictionary... Barney haters must read! Thy shall unite against thy evil materialised! *makes sign of cross with fingers* Hssssssssssssssssssssssssss.


!

Barney = evil fail line.

I felt a tap on my hand and a whispered 'Max.' I opened my eyes blearily and saw tall dark and annoying. I was having an incredible dream where I was burning the School down and laughing like a maniac... good times, good times.

I smirked up at Fang who was standing over me. 'Sup Toothy.' I whispered back. He just glared and then rolled me over to the cave (yes another one) entrance with his foot.

'Watch.'

'Was all he said. Max thought he was getting annoying and as she sat at the mouth of the cave she plotted prank after prank to try on Sparkly.' I narrated.

He raised an eyebrow and I reached over and pushed it back down. 'Sparkly because Edward is sparkly, and he's a vampire who has fangs and your fang. Really, it's just plain logical.'

He raised the other eyebrow that I wasn't holding down and I rolled my eyes before shoving him down and sitting up staring out into the deep,deeeep,deeeeeep blue sky.

I was annoyed at him because he called me a Sydney and I thought he was calling me fat so I'm pissing him off as best I can (I think it's working!)

Why am I happy I'm pissing off my boy friend?

Sigh.

I need help.

Barneys a peddo.

W...T...F...

So true though.

(A/N: ZOMG hi Claire and Marissa and Laura and Mel and other people I probably forgot! :^) It's got a nose!)

Did you know ZOMG actually means ZOMBIES OH MY GOD!

I did.

Who the !#$ am I talking to?

Sigh.

Sigh.

Laptop!

I scrambled over to Fangs backpack quickly but quietly before I get any crazier. Who am I kidding I'm a human-avian experiment who's on the run from mad scientists, has a voice in my head and for some strange reason can't stop thinking about Barney.

Oh god.

Where's the laptop.

Yes! I screamed mentally. I found it! As I started it up I went back to the entrance and did a victory dance.

And then I almost fell.

Off the edge of the cave.

Stupid start up sound.

Grrr.

Windows.

Barney.

Peddo.

AHHHHHH!

Okay, okay max calm. I sat down because while I was thinking I was just standing there looking at the dirt wall.

Again, I need help.

I put the laptop on my lap (duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) and clicked on the internet icon. It immediately popped up, yay evil scientist programming!

A site called Urban Dictionary popped up and I though, huh, dictionary, and typed in Sydney...

An amazing girl. The most beautiful girl to ever walk the earth, hands down. Living in a tiny town, surrounded by idiots, she strives not to be sucked into their black hole of ignorance. She doesn't belong there, and needs to escape, soon, before it's too late. Everyone she meets falls head over heels for her in an instant. Although very, very, veryyyy sarcastic, her presence is the drive that gets many through a hard day. She hits pretty hard, but if you can take it, the outcome is well worth it. She's nothing like you have ever met, because she's so incredibly fantastic. Nothing can stop her from being the bomb diggity times infinity, and she's definitely the bee's knees.

Wow, did you see that girl sydney? She's so smoking hot, and she's so amazinggggg. I think I'm gonna ask her to bone.  
:D

I didn't know what bone meant but the rest was so sweet.

: BLUGH SUICIDAL MUFFINS :

After my shift I tapped Ig's hand and whispered. 'It's your shift.' Before walking up to Fang and lying down next to him.

'Sydney huh?' I asked. He rolled over and in the little light I saw him give me one of his actual smiles.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face. Not because of the Sydney thing though. After it I searched Barney...

A man in a purple dinosaur suit who hangs out behind a little kid's school. Always talks with the kids and sings songs with them-as long as the teachers aren't around. Magically disappears and turns into a small, doll version of himself whenever an adult-especially a policeman-approaches him. Probably was horny as kid, and god knows what he does to those poor children when his/her friends aren't around.

Barney teaches children just how fun life can be.

THE ULTIMATE EVIL! He must be destroyed at all costs!

Join me, in my noble crusade against Barney!

Barney will devour your soul!


End file.
